


Sunflower Feelings

by citys127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Good Ending, Heartbreak, I dont know how to tag, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan - Freeform, M/M, Mark Lee | Lee Minhyung - Freeform, markhyuck, markmin, na jaemin - Freeform, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 12:28:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20815157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citys127/pseuds/citys127
Summary: As dumb as Mark was, he forgave Jaemin and gave him a second chance. But then, it happened again.And again.And again.Until Mark got used to the endless cycle of Jaemin breaking his heart and rebuilding the shattered pieces.





	Sunflower Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> heres a repost of my markhyuck fic :] i posted this before but deleted it and made small revisions including the title and description again this was based off clinton kane’s song “this is what a toxic relationship feels like” i hope u enjoy and kudos are highly appreciated also this isnt beta-ed so just nod and smile when u see any typos or grammatical errors.

Mark rubbed his temples in frustration and let a long sigh escape his lips. He twirled his pencil as he tried to absorb the information he was reading from the textbook. He studied, or at least attempted to study, for his upcoming Literature exam but failed to do so, not seeing the relevance of studying Old English, also known as the language that literally no one ever uses anymore. He suddenly felt arms sneak behind him and a kiss to the side of his forehead. "Don't stress yourself too much, babe." Jaemin commented as he rested his head on Mark's shoulder. "My brain can't gain any more knowledge and I've been reading the same topic for hours." Mark whined and placed his chin on top of his hands with a pout on his lips. "I'm sure you can do it." Jaemin said reassuringly and pecked Mark on the lips.

"I'll be back pretty late. Don't stay up too long." Jaemin said and squeezed Mark's shoulder comfortingly before grabbing his leather jacket and headed towards the door. Mark hummed in response and dropped his head down on the table as he heard the door slam shut. 

He really can't live like this anymore. He feels like utter shit and yet here he is, still in a relationship with Na Jaemin. 

Mark had feelings for the pink haired boy ever since he can remember. It was only about a year ago when Jaemin reciprocated those feelings and offered to be his boyfriend. Naïve as Mark was, he agreed. It was his crush after all. He couldn't possibly want anything more than this. But, he was wrong. 

The first couple of months of them dating were normal. Although, the feeling of his lips connected with Jaemin's and all their lovey dovey gestures were still foreign to him, he enjoyed it nevertheless and grew to like it. They would ocassionally go on dates and have cuddle sessions at the other's house every once in a while and they were happy. 

Mark smiled as he reminisced what they used to be. He missed it. 

It was only three months ago when he discovered that Jaemin was cheating on him with someone else. With his best friend actually, just to add the cherry on top of the cake. He still remembered the shocked expression plastered on Jaemin's face, his pupils shaking, body frozen in the spot.

Mark frowned at the memory, the familliar ache in his chest resurfacing. 

He ran away after seeing the horrific scene displayed in front of him. Mark felt so angry and confused at the same time because Jaemin broke the trust that he gave so easily. Mark questioned himself, doubting whether or not he was enough to reach his boyfriend's level of satisfaction. 

Jaemin eventually caught up to him and explained that he just got bored and promised to never do it again. As dumb as Mark was, he forgave Jaemin and gave him a second chance. But then, it happened again. 

And again.

And again.

Until Mark got used to the endless cycle of Jaemin breaking his heart and rebuilding the shattered pieces.

Jaemin cheats. He apologizes. He promises to never do it again and ends up repeating the same mistake. Mark knew that it was wrong but he just felt so trapped. He can't even imagine living a life without the pink haired boy beside him. Mark relied on Jaemin more than he would admit. He was in too deep and he couldn't possibly get out.

It hurted knowing that his lips isn't the only ones connected with Jaemin's and that he won't be the only one hearing those I love you's everyday along with his endless string of compliments that usually made Mark feel butterflies at his stomach but he convinced himself that Jaemin will always come back to him, no matter what. Right?

_

Donghyuck was Mark's neighbor. They met at the school playground and disovered that they actually lived next to each other. Ever since then, they would go to each other's houses to have play dates, group studies or just plainly hang out. It even got to a point in which they would enter each other's house without the need to knock. They were like inseperable brothers. 

That is, until Donghyuck mustered feelings for the raven haired boy. He was confused as to why his heart fluttered at the thought of Mark and how he would blush every time their hands brushed. But, he never confronted it, claiming that it would just go away in weeks time. So when he received the news that Mark was now in a relationship with Jaemin, it felt like his heart was stomped on and kicked to the side. It was his first ever heartbreak. He didn't want to show how torn up he was at the fact that someone else was making Mark happy that wasn't him. So he hid it despite feeling his heart sting every time Mark talks about the Devil's incarnate, also known as Jaemin. Don't get him wrong, he was fine with the both of them dating since he only wanted the best for his friend but seeing Mark have breakdowns almost everyday whilst he eats a huge tub of ice cream as he rants about his self-doubts was just unacceptable. Mark deserved so much better than the way that he was being treated. Donghyuck tried several times to convince Mark that his relationship with Jaemin was unhealthy but he always got turned down and got the same bullshit excuse.

"He needs me and I need him more." Or "Stop being nosy, this isn't any of your business." 

Mark gives his everything to Jaemin but all he ever gets in return is despair and heartbreak. Donghyuck knew Mark more than anyone and he knows that Mark never stands up for himself. Jaemin was taking advantage of that and he knew it. Their relationship affected Mark negatively though Mark may fail to see it. Mark was consitently getting F's and D's in almost all of his classes and his self-esteem was worsening. Jaemin was only using Mark as a rebound and treated him like absolute trash but Mark loved Jaemin too much to let him go even if it meant getting hurt. 

_

"Pineapples are not supposed to be on pizzas and that's the truth!"

"What do you mean? Hawaiian pizzas are the only good thing in this world!

Mark and Donghyuck debated, both trying to prove a point as to which pizza was superior. About half an hour has already passed filled with the non-stop bickering of the two until the doorbell rung, interrupting their argument. Mark stood up and walked to the door, opening it with a wide grin as soon as he saw the person infront of him. 

Donghyuck fumbled with the T.V. remote, constantly switching from channel to channel as Mark answered the door for an unusual long time. He suddenly heard foorsteps get closer to the living room. And low and behold it was non-other than the demon himself.

"Hey, Jaemin."

Donghyuck gripped the couch slightly, holding back with all his will-power to not pounce on the guy infront of him. He mustered the fakest smile as Jaemin approached the couch with Mark following slowly behind. "Hyuck, right? Mark told me all about you." Jaemin said with his signature cheeky smile before sitting down inches away from Donghyuck. "Oh yeah? Mark told me how you've been sucking other boys' faces when hes not around. Hows that going for you?" Donghyuck retorted and raised his eyebrow watching Jaemin's expression stiffen, his teeth grit and his knuckles turn white because of how hard he gripped the sofa. 

Awkward silence surfaced the air, the atmosphere becoming thick you can cut it with a knife. Mark cleared his throat, catching the attention of the two boys before finally speaking up. "Donghyuck, didn't your mom tell you to go home early today?" Mark lied, trying to avoid the tension between the three of them. He glanced at Donghyuck and pleaded to just go along with the situation. But obviously, Donghyuck wasn't going to have any of it. "What do you mean? Your so-called boyfriend here still hasn't answered my question." Donghyuck replied sarcastically, making sure to emphasize the 'boyfriend' part. He almost laughed at Jaemin's reaction. Jaemin on the other hand, was more than ready to punch Mark's 'friend' in the face.

"Donghyuck, I think it’s time you leave." Mark said flatly, preventing Donghyuck from commenting furthermore. Mark refused to look at Donghyuck and cascaded his eyes downards in disappointment. Gosh, what did Donghyuck even expect? No matter how much he tried to argue he’s always going to choose Jaemin even over himself. Donghyuck wanted to argue back but refrained from doing so, not wanting to fuck up more than he already did. 

Mark stood up from the couch and led Donghyuck to the doorway with Jaemin smiling triumphantly in the living room. Donghyuck only shot him death glares in return. Mark slammed the door shut, shocking Donghyuck from how hard it was slammed. The caramel-haired boy left Mark's doorstep with the bitter aftertaste of rejection still lingering.

_

"You didn't have to do that!" Mark exclaimed, cheeks flushed in anger and hands clenched. 

"I was trying to help you! I've told you millions of times, this is not a healthy relationship. He is using you. You need to stop turning a blind eye to it." Donghyuck replied and tried to knock some senses into Mark. He was fed up already and he wasn't just going to sit here and do nothing this time.

"Well you didn't help at all! You made everything worse! Jaemin is important to me, Donghyuck." Mark shouted and gritted his teeth, having enough of his petty friend. 

This was about the 100th time Mark and Donghyuck fought because of Jaemin. Donghyuck insisted millions of times but Mark remained stubborn and refused to listen to him. But, Donghyuck wasn't having any of Mark's bullshit anymore.

“Stop defending him and start standing up for yourself.” Donghyuck bit back. 

"Why do you care so much?" Mark asked and sighed frustatedly. 

"Because I'm your frien-"

"If you really were my friend, you would support me!" Mark argued back, the guilty feeling settling in his chest as he saw the hurt expression plastered on Donghyuck's face and realized what he had just said. Mark knows that Donghyuck has supported him more than anyone in his entire life. He was there on Mark’s badminton tournament when he was in third grade, when he joined a quiz bee during freshman year, when he tripped during their musical play and even when he confessed his undying love for Jaemin. He knew that he can't unwind the events that had just occured. He wanted to apologize but not a single word left his mouth. He just stood there speechless. 

"Do you know why I care so much?" Donghyuck asked quietly, barely audible. He clenched his fists and looked directly into Mark’s eyes, letting the first tear roll down his cheek. "Did you ever consider that maybe, maybe I wanted to be more than your friend?" Donghyuck paused, his voice cracking at the end. Mark's eyes widened in shock, not expecting that kind of response from Donghyuck at all. Mark remained silent, not wanting to cause anymore damage. 

"God, I am so in love with you. It hurts so fucking much to see you with someone else but I remained happy for you because thats all I ever wanted for you. And it feels like shit to see you get used like that because I know that you deserve so much better." 

Donghyuck went on, sobbing as he confessed the feelings he harbored in his heart. Mark was unable to comprehend the situation infront of him. The thought of Donghyuck being in love with him all this time has never crossed his mind. His heart ached, watching as Donghyuck broke down, feeling helpless. 

"You keep on searching for someone who will accept you but you never looked at the person in front of you. You never even spared a glance at the person who was beside you. I love you so much that it hurts me but I was okay with it because seeing you smile was enough for me even if I know that I will never be the reason for it.

I stood by you. I comforted you when you were sad and praised you for your achievements even if I know that I'm just his replacement. Even if I know that I can never be him, that you will never love me the way you love him."

Donghyuck's sobs became more audible throughout the entire house. His chest felt lighter, relieved that he finally got it out there. He felt so small as Mark stared at him cry the emotions he was bottling up for years. 

"Donghyuck, I'm sorry-" Mark started off and approached the sun that wasn't shining and bright as it used to be. 

"Save it." Donghyuck cut him off, shoving Mark slightly, refusing to look at his gaze. 

Donghyuck sniffled and pushed pass Mark, grabbing his belongings and headed towards Mark's door and left, slamming it shut. 

Mark stood there like a statue, reassessing his thoughts and the event that had just occured. A couple minutes have passed by until Mark finally realized how much he really fucked up. Donghyuck was right. He was just looking out for him. Mark never saw how much time and effort Donghyuck allotted just for him. Donghyuck reassured him and was there regardless of the situation but Jaemin wasn't. Donghyuck genuinely cared about him and loved Mark unconditionally but Jaemin didn't. Mark didn't realize how important Donghyuck was in his life until he was gone.

_

Donghyuck skipped the next day of school after that. He spent the duration of the day forgetting Mark and eventually realized that it was deemed impossible. He tried watching several films or attempted to read books that he enjoyed but came to the conclusion that he only ever liked to do these things alongside Mark. He never realized how much of his life actually revolved around Mark.

He grabbed another big scoop of ice cream as he watched what seems to be the 7th season of My Little Pony. He snuggled inside his blanket and clutched his pillows tighter as Pinky Pie and Apple Jack argued about their cutie marks. 

He suddenly heard the doorbell ring. Donghyuck stood up from his comfortable spot on the sofa and groaned loudly. He opened the door and closed it as soon as he saw the person standing at his very doorstep. He took a deep breath and regained his composure before opening the door once again.

"What do you want?" Donghyuck asked flatly, not wanting to say anything more than needed. Mark observed Donghyuck's features and noticed his tear-stained cheeks and tired puffy eyes. "Hello? Earth to Mark?" Donghyuck asked waving his hand infront of Mark's face cutting Mark off from his trance. Mark blinked his eyes and came to his senses.

"Listen, all I need is 10 minutes of your time. I'm not here to give you excuses, I swear. I just wanted to apologize. I don't think I can live without you knowing this. After this you can forget all about me."

Mark paused shortly and looked at Donghyuck for confirmation. When Donghyuck nodded he took that as a signal to proceed. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't see that you were getting hurt and I acted very selfishly. I know that the last thing that I deserve is your forgiveness and I'm not asking for any second chances either. What I did was horrible and nothing can ever justify that. I also wanted to thank you for always being there for me despite my stubborness and for always looking out for me. I don't even deserve you at all-" 

Mark got cut off when Donghyuck suddenly engulfed him in a bone-crushing hug. Mark slowly wrapped his arms around the younger and rested his head on Donghyuck's neck, appreciating the nostalgic warmth that made him feel at home. 

"I just miss my best friend back." Donghyuck said through muffled sobs, completely soaking Mark's shirt. He felt the familliar sting in his chest, knowing that 'best friend' is all that he'll ever be but as long as Mark wasn't hurting he was more than fine with it.

"I broke up with Jaemin the other day." Mark blurted out, still not letting go of Donghyuck, afraid that he might disappear completely just like their shattering friendship. Donghyuck only clutched him tighter, not sure of what reaction to display. He eventually let go of the older and immediately closed the gap with a peck on Mark's lips. Donghyuck was overwhelmed with emotions, happiness, anger, relief, love and just couldn't hold back any longer. His eyes widened in shock as he stepped back and realized what he just did, the panic settling in. He was scared of ruining their rebuilding friendship. He can't even bare a day without Mark how much more his entire life? 

His worries were all reassured when Mark reconnected their lips and wrapped his arms securely around Donghyuck's waist. Donghyuck smiled through the kiss, the unsettling feeling of rejection in his chest now replaced with love. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
Twitter: @yunocock  
Instagram: @cafemovhi


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